Booze Night

Wed night was booze night.
Ingredients:
Cherry and Grape Vodka Jelly Shots.
Prepared by Sarah and served without any form of cutlery. It was then decided we didn't need any and the jelly could be suck right out. Sarah, Jim and Rom's efforts were very disappointing however Stu was my biggest competitor, taking out the competition in style.
Vanilla BC's - Vanilla Vodka, Ginger Ale and Cranberry Juice
Created by Jon but drunk in excess by Sarah and May
Jager Bombs - A shot of Jagermeister dropped into Red Bull.
It didn't take long to find something on par with those famous Grave diggers we all love.

Result:
1)What taxi ride would it be without someone, in this case Sarah asking if the hairy cheque book was an accepted form of payment.
2)Chanel taking a dive into my toilet bowl at the pub. Me having to fish it out with toilet paper while Sarah spectates.
3)Photo shoot with Paris, where the Winner would successfully do a handstand and with one hand grope her breast. After about an hour of attempts, I of course was the Winner. Only captured on Video.
4)The production of 9/11. During this competition excellent footage was taken of a catastrophic bookcase explosion.

Congratulations Laura

Well I spose Congratulations are in order Laura ... But seeing as I found out that you have a job at Westnet through someone I barely know I dont quite know how to take it. These last couple of days I have been wondering where you have been, if you are still alive ?? But look at you now, no time for anyone but your BOYFRIEND !!! Who would have thought.

The Challenge

Jon who can never say no to a challenge and boasted of having a stomach of steal when it comes to doughnut consumption, decided he could eat 12 doughnuts in a single sitting. The doughnuts were supplied by Tim Hortons who made them especially fresh for the occasion after finding out what they were for. The rules of engagement were depicted by a panel of judges who allowed a 1 hour and 30min window of time in which the competitor was to finish the 12 pastry treats. Besides the 1hr 30min time limit Jon was not allowed to vomit during the consumption of the 12, if so he would be disqualified. The choice of drink was his own, opting for water in the end to help settle the doughy delights. His first 6 were consumed in a record 15 minutes. The last 6 however was a whole different story. The water could not settle or quench the thirst easily enough to make the last 6 doughnuts an easy endurance. The final 2 doughnuts accounted for the majority of the time taken, adding up to approx 30min.The record set for eating all 12 doughnuts, 1hr and 4mins. Time taken to throw up 1hr and 6mins.

Fred's Departure

Fred fled Vancouver after everyone he was in close contact with became all to familiar with his distinct aromas. Some speculated that his chicken wing consumption which reached an all time high was to blame. Fred worked through all hours of the night producing a documentary that is up for nomination at this years Channel V film festival. The documentary was responsible for causing many disputes particularly amongst the Women's rights organization.

Friends are glad that he chose to go home early fearing that he was becoming dangerously close to adopting the bum lifestyle that so many here have fallen victim too.

Muffin Tops

Everynight when I sit down to watch tv, right next to me is an assortment of treats that call my name. So you can only imagine that my muffin tops are at the point of explosion. With so much trash tv to enjoy and all my favourite foods sitting right next to me, this deadly combination is the perfect ingredients for making successful muffin tops. Tell me, How do I stand a chance ?

Vaseline

I knew it was time for me to take action when two tubs of Blistex on the go at any one time was not enough. It was my dear friend Laura who introduced me to this product during my adolescent years when you are most susceptible to falling victim of substance abuse. Five years later I can now say I no longer use Blistex, and have been clean for just over a month. Since using Vaseline, I no longer feel the need to apply every half hour or when I awake in the middle of the night. Vaseline comes in a “convenient size” and you don’t have to worry about it getting underneath your nails. I highly recommend it to all those Blistex abusers out there.

Escalators to hell

These damn escalators are a bitch. They look harmless, and before coming to Canada all I ever did was stand on one and let it do its job. But here, it's a constant rush up and down them to ensure you make your connecting bus / sky train. Coming down is no problem, the race up however is killer. By the time I reach the top, I am out of breath and almost breaking a sweat. But the worst is yet to come, for you know what is up there waiting for you ... either a bum asking for money or your ticket or someone looking for directions. Maybe if I could string two words together after doing this marathon I might be nice to you, but seeing I am gasping for air please just leave me alone. It reminds me of when I used to do cross country at school and people would try and hold conversations with me. This is about the time when you want to offer everyone a big cup of .. Shut the fuck up !!

Happy Birthday Cheng

My Sister turns 27 today and I am so proud of all that she has become. Being a great influence on her life, I have taught her many of her outstanding traits such as being selfless and patient. Being absent from your birthday this year, I am interested to know what it was like to actually choose your own birthday cake? Hope you had a great day, wish I could have been there to help celebrate. Miss you heaps and Love you lots and lots xoxo !!!!

Kong Hee Fatt Choy !!

To all my white friends, Chinese New Year was on the 9^th of Feb and it marks a very special day for me, as the Western New Year does for you. To me it is a day of ancient traditions and rituals passed down through generations. Every year a wise woman (my Mother) tells me about the importance of not washing my hair or sweeping the floors on this day, as it brings about bad fortune. My favorite tradition is the handing out of red packets which holds money in it, but for me it is not about the money but for what it symbolizes, wealth and good fortune. Chinese New Year also referred to as the Spring Festival is a celebration I will carry on for years to come.

Cunt Eyes

Laura are these the eyes you speak of ? (http://lauraishot.blogspot.com/2005/01/cunts.html#comments)

Chantico

Some would say this drink is equivalent to visiting Crack Forest (For those of you who aren’t familiar with this term, it is a place in Banff that locals go to for none other than crack). Chantico is a rollercoaster of mixed emotions. We had our first one a few weeks ago and already I am having withdrawals. It started off so innocent, a late night visit to Starbucks for hot chocolate. Chantico however is no ordinary hot chocolate. The first few sips were heaven, by the time we got half way through the drink we were in fits of laughter, speaking absolute crap and finding it hilarious. Sarah spoke of waking up in the middle of the night shouting out Chantico’s name. The sugar hit was unlike anything we have ever experienced. On the last sip my stomach began to seize and I was on the verge of throwing up. By the time we got home, sleep was no option cause this shit was strong!! I thought I would never drink it again, yet I dream of my next sip.

My future husbands

In response to the hot men entry on Laura's blog, this is an example of what is on display here in Canada. I eat lunch with these boys whenever I am at work. We are in love !!

Jim's Arrival

Jim finally touched down in Vancouver and it became a family outing as we all headed to the airport to greet him. It must have been a special occassion cause getting everyone out of the house is really a task on its own. After settling in and having a few Corona's, we headed to dinner where we ate a delicious meal of steak salmon, rice, potato, garlic bread and salad all for $4.95. Bargain. Veronica was especially lucky as she was treated to a piece of hair in her meal. So here's to another ass on the lounge in the Burnaby household : )

Is this man to blame ?

As soon as the words left my mouth I knew it was Doug's influence. At work recently I had a Customer come in and complain about the expense of Guess clothing. She was from China and outraged that we would charge "such ridiculous prices on such poor quality clothing" Her argument went on for approximately 10 mins, in this time being the professional Sales Associate that I am, I provided reasonable explanations as to why the prices were so expensive. After disagreeing with everything I said I knew I had to come up with something short of brilliant, this was my defense:
"I spose countries such as China, that have such a poor standard of living would never buy items this expensive so they have to set a lower standard, however in Canada where they have a higher standard people don't mind paying more money." It was after this comment she promptly left the store. Another happy Guess Customer. And believe me those words actually left my mouth, I was a disgrace and Doug I blame you.

Working Holiday

After his two month location shoot in Canada, Jon has returned to his home town, Perth. Signing contracts with Columbia, Guess and Kokanee he was seen posing all over Banff and Vancouver. He hit it big at an event featuring Tall Paul, where he made most of his profits. Displaying typical celebrity behavior, a close friend was overheard saying “since being in Canada Jon whinged more than ever”. We wish him all the success in Perth, he will be greatly missed.

My Vocation

Throughout my life I have had my fair share of encounters with the Christian Community. I have been invited to countless youth group gatherings(Even by the local postal worker), I've been to parties (An 18th where there was no alcohol??) and I even went to see a 'play' that turned out to be a ceremony. I see the signs I know what my vocation is however I AM JUST NOT THAT INTERESTED!! To top it all off, my new blog address can be confused with this one: www.mayllennium.blogpot.com This is not funny, Who is responsible for this !! JERRY ??

Australia Day

Being in Canada didnt stop us from going all out and celebrating one of our favourite holidays. Although there was no sun, cricket or port, we went to an Australian pub called Mooses Downunder and ate meat pies and drank Coopers and VB while singing our hearts out to Waltzing Matilda and Advance Australia Fair.

This year I managed to steer clear of any fighting, but dont worry Laura it was touch and go in the household at one stage.

I did however lose my wallet, but when I rang the restaurant they found it on the floor. You'd think someone would have stumbled across "the brick" sooner but i was greatful cause nothing was missing.