Seattle

Greg and Nicole drove me to Seattle last weekend for the day and it was awesome. The weather was beautiful and the shopping was fantastic. Before getting to Seattle we stopped off at a Factory Outlet where I deliberated for 15mins before purchasing my first piece of "G Unit" labeled clothing. Yes thats right, I am officially wearing G Unit, and I dont care what anyone has to say about it.

When we arrived in Seattle the first thing we did was go to Jack In the Box, a fast food chain that makes delicious burgers. So delicious they cannot be sold in Canada due to their health regulation laws on fat content. We then went to the Markets where I saw the famous fish throwing and then it was time to Shop. I got some great bargains including a skirt for $3.00. When I got home to inspect all my new clothes I was pleasantly surprised by the gift that Abercrombie had left on my skirt, the electronic tag. Good to see those things work, not only did it not set the alarm off when I left the building but Greg was able to get it off with plyers without doing damage!! What a relief.

25 and still making a Dick of myself

Today on my lunch break I was asked to grab some lunch for a work mate while I was in the food court. I ordered my meal and being rush hour, before I knew it I was standing with my food piled high on a service tray. I knew I should have asked for take away but it was to late. I then got the kebab for my colleague and knew my only option was to hang my head in shame as I walked through the mall with this damn food tray piled high with Chinese. I convinced myself that it was not such a strange sight to see someone walking through a mall holding a tray full of food, I was dressed well enough so it didn't look like I was trying to steal it. Then I saw the humiliation that I was about to face. As I turned the corner to go on the elevator it was packed full of business executives. The doors closed and there I was standing in the elevator booth with 6 men in suits holding a damn food tray piled high with Chinese. Within seconds the smell was so strong I couldn't breath and Going bright red I announced "I forgot to ask for take away" They burst out laughing and someone said "you're making us hungry with that smell" I apologised profoundly and ran out when I got to my level. Real smooth May!

Happy Birthday Jim

Jim's Birthday was quite the extravaganza. Starting off with Brunch at Sophie's, some shopping on West 4th, Dinner at Nikko's Japanese restaurant, pre drinks at The cambie and finally complete chaos at Shine Nightclub. We had quite the crew there and Jim was presented with drink after drink in the first five minutes of arrival. I lost count of how much he consumed in this short time but not long after you could not get him off the dance floor. When it was time to depart the club, everyone piled into a limo and headed home for more partying. We had three camera's full of photos however parental viewing only allows for these selected images to be displayed!! http://www.gregchan.com/gallery/view_album.php?set_albumName=JimsBday

My Name is May

You would not believe how much trouble I am having with my name. I didnt think the name May could get any simpler but apparently it is quite complex. On introduction, the usual response to my name is "My". After repeating "May" and them still responding with "My" I proceed to tell them "As In the Month". To avoid hearing "My" one more time, for the last 6 months I have introduced myself as "May, as in the month". With my new job I didn't think it would be very professional to say "May, as in the month" straight out, so I have gone back to saying just "May". Well, I should have known better. As a result all the correspondence that comes back to me reads, "MIY", even after I have spelt it out, I have come to accept that this is my name here. I even have one person that I have accepted to calling me "MYA". The problem is that they try and say it with an Australian accent. Its really quite ridiculous. Its not like I pronounce their names with a Canadian accent, quite frankly I've had enough. IDIOTS!!

Fact: On average 98% of Canadians respond to my introduction with My.

Snowboarding

I just love this sport, its so much fun and I recommend it to everyone. I dont think that there has been another sport where I have had to endure so much crap in the process of learning it and still come out wanting more. On countless occasions I have been on the verge of tears, either from being in so much pain from an impressive stack or knowing no one will come get me mid mountain when I cant go on anymore and having to rely on myself to get down. In Whistler I boarded right into a blizzard, I couldnt move or see a thing but it was such an experience. Slowly we are getting the hang of it. Oh and Whistler was awesome.

Whistler

On Tuesday we are going to Whistler for two days of boarding and partying. I am so excited to get out there and attempt to successfully pick up the art of snowboarding. I am feeling a little more confident as I have decided to just throw my body down the mountain if I have to, its really the only way to learn and this time I come prepared with wrist guards. Anyway I'll fill you in when I get back and hopefully I can make a "movie" as I will try and film as much of the holiday as possible.

Karaoke

Once upon a time at a Manilla karaoke restaurant in Cannington we sang a song that would haunt us for the rest of our lives. It was the last song we were invited up to sing that night, the song was Mr Boombastic. Last week at a karoke bar downtown, Sarah, Jim and I proceeded to get trashed. It was at this stage we requested a handful of songs. While I thought this day would never come again, Sarah and I sang a song that would prohibit us from singing again. Eminems, Lose Yourself. Perhaps more thought should have gone into our song choice at a pub that attracts punks and alternative's.

Ice Hockey

Went to my first ice hockey game the other day and I loved it, it was so much fun. Unfortunately it wasnt the National Hockey League who have been on strike all year demanding extra pay. Its outrageous, It would be like the AFL going on strike for a whole season. Anyway we watched the Vancouver Giants, and I was so suprised at how interested I was in the game, so much so I wanted to buy souveniers. The speed, skill and of course the fighting totally drew me in. A must see for all. I rate it 4 and a half stars.

Beer Pong

This is a great game to play and before you know it the effects of alcohol is well underway.

1. Cups are arranged, 10 on a side, in pyramid formation.
2. Three beers per side, evenly distributed into these cups.
3. Each team of two starts off with one ball. Players throw the ball across the table, trying to get the ball in the opponents cup (standing from an agreed distance). When a ball lands in a cup, one player from the opponents side must drink that cup, and it is then removed from the play area.
4. In one round both members of the team get a shot and if both go into the cup they get the ball back and can play again. If not then the other team has their shot.
5. Once all cups have been eliminated from the opponents team you win and the opponents must also drink any remaining cups left on your side.
   

Sarah and May remain the reigning champions. Jim should stay completely away from this game showing no hand and eye coordination what so ever and labeled a complete drunk as a result of his poor efforts.

Congratulations Uncle Doug

The other night I phoned Doug and spoke to him for over an hour. Now I apologise for waking your Grandfather up at 5.45am but someone mislead me with the time difference. Luckily for me, Doug had just got home from a big night out. During this hour long talk many topics were discussed, all except for one. The arrival of his true love. Today I received an email conversation from Jez, Jas and Doug outlining this event. I am now thinking back to our conversation and things are suddenly making sense. Like the family van you are driving around in at the moment. Uncle Doug, have you started a family, is this the reason you left Perth ? When I rang at 5.45am were you really up tending to the baby ? I think its time you tell us the truth.

Thankyou

A big THANKYOU to Laura for sending Sarah and I gifts through the mail. We were so excited to receive our new Bonds underwear, and I am so glad to say that I can still fit into those size 10's. Anyway for all those other people who are yet to send us gifts, now is as good a time as any.

Dogs in Vancouver

The abundance of dog lovers here in Vancouver is out of control. First there was the sighting at Christmas of a dog wearing reindeer ears , then last week in posh Yaletown I saw a dog walk passed wearing a Von Dutch tracksuit. Today I couldn't believe my eyes, as I am sure neither can you looking at this photo. That's right a dog wearing a fucking nappy !! Clearly I have endured enough.

Reindeer Abuse

Christmas time in Vancouver is beautiful. Families take great pride in lighting up their homes and setting up novelties in their front yard for all to admire. On New Years Eve this Reindeer was taken from its loving family and endured a night of abuse and humiliation by his captures. It was agreed he would be returned the next day, however days turned into weeks and weeks into months. A few nights ago he was finally released, left on the front door step of his home with a short note I am sure his family would appreciate.

Booze Night

Wed night was booze night.
Ingredients:
Cherry and Grape Vodka Jelly Shots.
Prepared by Sarah and served without any form of cutlery. It was then decided we didn't need any and the jelly could be suck right out. Sarah, Jim and Rom's efforts were very disappointing however Stu was my biggest competitor, taking out the competition in style.
Vanilla BC's - Vanilla Vodka, Ginger Ale and Cranberry Juice
Created by Jon but drunk in excess by Sarah and May
Jager Bombs - A shot of Jagermeister dropped into Red Bull.
It didn't take long to find something on par with those famous Grave diggers we all love.

Result:
1)What taxi ride would it be without someone, in this case Sarah asking if the hairy cheque book was an accepted form of payment.
2)Chanel taking a dive into my toilet bowl at the pub. Me having to fish it out with toilet paper while Sarah spectates.
3)Photo shoot with Paris, where the Winner would successfully do a handstand and with one hand grope her breast. After about an hour of attempts, I of course was the Winner. Only captured on Video.
4)The production of 9/11. During this competition excellent footage was taken of a catastrophic bookcase explosion.

Congratulations Laura

Well I spose Congratulations are in order Laura ... But seeing as I found out that you have a job at Westnet through someone I barely know I dont quite know how to take it. These last couple of days I have been wondering where you have been, if you are still alive ?? But look at you now, no time for anyone but your BOYFRIEND !!! Who would have thought.

The Challenge

Jon who can never say no to a challenge and boasted of having a stomach of steal when it comes to doughnut consumption, decided he could eat 12 doughnuts in a single sitting. The doughnuts were supplied by Tim Hortons who made them especially fresh for the occasion after finding out what they were for. The rules of engagement were depicted by a panel of judges who allowed a 1 hour and 30min window of time in which the competitor was to finish the 12 pastry treats. Besides the 1hr 30min time limit Jon was not allowed to vomit during the consumption of the 12, if so he would be disqualified. The choice of drink was his own, opting for water in the end to help settle the doughy delights. His first 6 were consumed in a record 15 minutes. The last 6 however was a whole different story. The water could not settle or quench the thirst easily enough to make the last 6 doughnuts an easy endurance. The final 2 doughnuts accounted for the majority of the time taken, adding up to approx 30min.The record set for eating all 12 doughnuts, 1hr and 4mins. Time taken to throw up 1hr and 6mins.

Fred's Departure

Fred fled Vancouver after everyone he was in close contact with became all to familiar with his distinct aromas. Some speculated that his chicken wing consumption which reached an all time high was to blame. Fred worked through all hours of the night producing a documentary that is up for nomination at this years Channel V film festival. The documentary was responsible for causing many disputes particularly amongst the Women's rights organization.

Friends are glad that he chose to go home early fearing that he was becoming dangerously close to adopting the bum lifestyle that so many here have fallen victim too.

Muffin Tops

Everynight when I sit down to watch tv, right next to me is an assortment of treats that call my name. So you can only imagine that my muffin tops are at the point of explosion. With so much trash tv to enjoy and all my favourite foods sitting right next to me, this deadly combination is the perfect ingredients for making successful muffin tops. Tell me, How do I stand a chance ?

Vaseline

I knew it was time for me to take action when two tubs of Blistex on the go at any one time was not enough. It was my dear friend Laura who introduced me to this product during my adolescent years when you are most susceptible to falling victim of substance abuse. Five years later I can now say I no longer use Blistex, and have been clean for just over a month. Since using Vaseline, I no longer feel the need to apply every half hour or when I awake in the middle of the night. Vaseline comes in a “convenient size” and you don’t have to worry about it getting underneath your nails. I highly recommend it to all those Blistex abusers out there.

Escalators to hell

These damn escalators are a bitch. They look harmless, and before coming to Canada all I ever did was stand on one and let it do its job. But here, it's a constant rush up and down them to ensure you make your connecting bus / sky train. Coming down is no problem, the race up however is killer. By the time I reach the top, I am out of breath and almost breaking a sweat. But the worst is yet to come, for you know what is up there waiting for you ... either a bum asking for money or your ticket or someone looking for directions. Maybe if I could string two words together after doing this marathon I might be nice to you, but seeing I am gasping for air please just leave me alone. It reminds me of when I used to do cross country at school and people would try and hold conversations with me. This is about the time when you want to offer everyone a big cup of .. Shut the fuck up !!

Happy Birthday Cheng

My Sister turns 27 today and I am so proud of all that she has become. Being a great influence on her life, I have taught her many of her outstanding traits such as being selfless and patient. Being absent from your birthday this year, I am interested to know what it was like to actually choose your own birthday cake? Hope you had a great day, wish I could have been there to help celebrate. Miss you heaps and Love you lots and lots xoxo !!!!

Kong Hee Fatt Choy !!

To all my white friends, Chinese New Year was on the 9^th of Feb and it marks a very special day for me, as the Western New Year does for you. To me it is a day of ancient traditions and rituals passed down through generations. Every year a wise woman (my Mother) tells me about the importance of not washing my hair or sweeping the floors on this day, as it brings about bad fortune. My favorite tradition is the handing out of red packets which holds money in it, but for me it is not about the money but for what it symbolizes, wealth and good fortune. Chinese New Year also referred to as the Spring Festival is a celebration I will carry on for years to come.

Cunt Eyes

Laura are these the eyes you speak of ? (http://lauraishot.blogspot.com/2005/01/cunts.html#comments)

Chantico

Some would say this drink is equivalent to visiting Crack Forest (For those of you who aren’t familiar with this term, it is a place in Banff that locals go to for none other than crack). Chantico is a rollercoaster of mixed emotions. We had our first one a few weeks ago and already I am having withdrawals. It started off so innocent, a late night visit to Starbucks for hot chocolate. Chantico however is no ordinary hot chocolate. The first few sips were heaven, by the time we got half way through the drink we were in fits of laughter, speaking absolute crap and finding it hilarious. Sarah spoke of waking up in the middle of the night shouting out Chantico’s name. The sugar hit was unlike anything we have ever experienced. On the last sip my stomach began to seize and I was on the verge of throwing up. By the time we got home, sleep was no option cause this shit was strong!! I thought I would never drink it again, yet I dream of my next sip.

My future husbands

In response to the hot men entry on Laura's blog, this is an example of what is on display here in Canada. I eat lunch with these boys whenever I am at work. We are in love !!

Jim's Arrival

Jim finally touched down in Vancouver and it became a family outing as we all headed to the airport to greet him. It must have been a special occassion cause getting everyone out of the house is really a task on its own. After settling in and having a few Corona's, we headed to dinner where we ate a delicious meal of steak salmon, rice, potato, garlic bread and salad all for $4.95. Bargain. Veronica was especially lucky as she was treated to a piece of hair in her meal. So here's to another ass on the lounge in the Burnaby household : )

Is this man to blame ?

As soon as the words left my mouth I knew it was Doug's influence. At work recently I had a Customer come in and complain about the expense of Guess clothing. She was from China and outraged that we would charge "such ridiculous prices on such poor quality clothing" Her argument went on for approximately 10 mins, in this time being the professional Sales Associate that I am, I provided reasonable explanations as to why the prices were so expensive. After disagreeing with everything I said I knew I had to come up with something short of brilliant, this was my defense:
"I spose countries such as China, that have such a poor standard of living would never buy items this expensive so they have to set a lower standard, however in Canada where they have a higher standard people don't mind paying more money." It was after this comment she promptly left the store. Another happy Guess Customer. And believe me those words actually left my mouth, I was a disgrace and Doug I blame you.

Working Holiday

After his two month location shoot in Canada, Jon has returned to his home town, Perth. Signing contracts with Columbia, Guess and Kokanee he was seen posing all over Banff and Vancouver. He hit it big at an event featuring Tall Paul, where he made most of his profits. Displaying typical celebrity behavior, a close friend was overheard saying “since being in Canada Jon whinged more than ever”. We wish him all the success in Perth, he will be greatly missed.

My Vocation

Throughout my life I have had my fair share of encounters with the Christian Community. I have been invited to countless youth group gatherings(Even by the local postal worker), I've been to parties (An 18th where there was no alcohol??) and I even went to see a 'play' that turned out to be a ceremony. I see the signs I know what my vocation is however I AM JUST NOT THAT INTERESTED!! To top it all off, my new blog address can be confused with this one: www.mayllennium.blogpot.com This is not funny, Who is responsible for this !! JERRY ??

Australia Day

Being in Canada didnt stop us from going all out and celebrating one of our favourite holidays. Although there was no sun, cricket or port, we went to an Australian pub called Mooses Downunder and ate meat pies and drank Coopers and VB while singing our hearts out to Waltzing Matilda and Advance Australia Fair.

This year I managed to steer clear of any fighting, but dont worry Laura it was touch and go in the household at one stage.

I did however lose my wallet, but when I rang the restaurant they found it on the floor. You'd think someone would have stumbled across "the brick" sooner but i was greatful cause nothing was missing.